It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression. They may not like dumpees and have much respect for them, but they dont just forget they dated them. Well, you probably threw a tantrum. Assuming that your guy has followed the progression I outlined above and is holding resentment towards you for the breakup that occurred you can probably expect the following things to be going on in his mind: You can always expect a little bit of stubbornness to be involved when it comes to someone using silence as revenge. Dont text her!!! Should I continue to impose the NC rule on her? First though, I would like to take the spotlight off of him for a while and talk about YOU. Ex blocked me during no contact, what does that mean 4,570 views Premiered Feb 22, 2021 87 Dislike Share Save TheTruth 1.08K subscribers 52 She's not my friend on Instagram and my page. The worse life treats your ex, the more likely it is that your ex will remember you, ponder about you, contact you, and reconcile (or try to reconcile) with you. Well, lets assume that you are embarking on a 30 day no contact rule and lets say that after 21 days your ex boyfriend hasnt gotten in touch with you. We dont know what will happen. She said she still loves me and misses me but knwing she cant guarantee that she would compromise on us, she would like us to become friends instead. That probably doesnt make you feel much better, but you need to know that dumpers dont always come back. She also then started seeing someone from work which really upset me because it was so soon after we broke up and . This internal battle between his heart and his pride will rage on for days. You women have a sense of entitlement. End the conversation abruptly but politely. to name a few. What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? One of the most interesting trends I found relating to the no contact rule is that the women that have the attitude that I outlined above always seem to do well in the big picture when it comes getting their ex boyfriends back. The idea of co-parenting with a narcissist does not exist. 3. Breaking up is hard on both parties. She is the one with the emotional detachment issuenot you. She stopped for a while and started to gave time for me. Does this mean that you are going to have to be the one to press the action after the NC rule is completed? As you go through the 5 stages of grief after realizing you've been dumped for a second time (or possibly a first this time around), there are a few things to remember: Don't Stalk Their Profile. They have to be committed to doing so. The greater the love the greater the loss. Very confused! No one wants their ex to be prying into their business after the breakup. Taking his or her focus off you and putting it on something or someone else would allow your ex to distance himself or herself from issues that created a lot of negative emotions. If you really think she is posting how happy she is to simply make you jealousthen youre letting her manipulate you. He doesnt speak until today. In todays post, well discuss why your ex wont forget about you during no contact. Even if he hasnt texted me? Hence I feel that no-contact is more successful at helping the dumpee heal, but is less successful at helping the dumpee get the dumper back. He became indifferent although he occasionally told me he loved me. A week after i broke up with her, i started to miss her. Leave her while you are still healthy. I told him I felt hurt and I would have contacted him when I was better. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. She asked me to leave again so about 30 mins later I did after probably spending that 30 mins annoying her more trying to apologise and make it ok. 2 Days went past we didnt speak, then I sent an apology to her, she responded saying how tough she was finding life and she would rather be alone now and I desevered someone with better mental health she said she didnt think it was wrong that i had said about sex as I was in a relationship with her and thats what people do so she understood why I mentioned it. Would you like to know where I came up with that mindset? Work, events, and more.will me doing no contact now really be effective? Firstly, the no contact rule is only step one in the process. I am doing no contact but he had already been pretty silent. So, they are probably going to be thinking of the whole no contact experience as a game. Im really hurt about the fact that she could move on so quickly, but do keep wondering all the time if no contact is the right approach, and keep wondering even more if she is missing me and doing all these things just to get over me. As for a way back, thats why we have the program to give you the information and tools to attempt to get your ex back, but also work on becoming your best self. Don't get comfortable and slide back into old habits. The best thing you can do is to move on. Remaining in contact with yo. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. Some of these things could make good reasons. Maybe they're feeling a little salty about how well. I suppose I could have done a better job of explaining the complexities of how this is all supposed to play out. 3. Just think of it like an addictionthey are using us and they are the only ones who can change that behaviour. 4. I decided to walk away coz I felt i was being taken for granted. Lets say that you decide that you want to embark on the 30 day no contact period. Andtry to avoid women like this in future. He may discover what he actually was experiencing before when he said he was "tired of you," was just the normal up and down of relationship. I cant understand why he has done this as hes always been so set on being with me. I did the begging and pleading, appealed that i put so much effort for us and for her. We were not at full plus capacity and we began bickering with each other. Im at my NC mark. 2. Are Dumpers Afraid To Contact Their Dumpees? But they could give you hope, which will have the same effect on you as visiting a fortune-teller. He got angry and broke up with me. Consider this section to be your attitude adjustment when it comes to no contact. While I cant always answer everyone I try my very best to. He wanted to meet and said that he understood that he loves me but is not ready to propose. I have covid, he saw my photo in instagram and he didnt even ask how he was doing. Its been a week, probably not long enough. For example, if you go into the no contact rule dead set on believing that your ex is going to blow up your phone with messages like: (This text example was taken from an excerpt of one of my booksThe Texting Bible.). I have done some really shameful things when I have been ignored in the past. I will keep applying the no conctac rule. Your job as a dumpee, therefore, is to allow your ex to relieve pressure, anger, or guilt and enjoy life without interruptions and reminders of you. Would An Ex Like This Ever Consider A Reconciliation? While it is entirely possible that those three outcomes can occur it is also possible that all three may not occur. Make sure you dont pressure him. I asked why she had seemed different towards me, she told me she was missing hone alot (shes Brazilian and has lived in the UK 2 years) she also said she felt depressed, worried about money as her company had just shut that week because of corona virus so she had little money coming in, she was worried about her daughter with school as she now isnt going, and her mum is due to go back to Brazil if the flight isnt cancelled in May so she has alot in her mind, I listened, I told her Id support her and Ill be there for her through any bad times shes facing, I said she doesnt have to tell me all her problems she has if she doesnt feel comfortable, but I am here for her if she needs me and if she feels ready Ill listen. You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you. She would concentrate more on the things she wanted to do. Heck, most people make relationship decisions based on their emotions. I have blocked and removed her family & friends from all my social media, but I still have a few friends who show me her things about her over posting just how fun she is having. It makes no sense to me why she would suddenly change her mind over night. Well, its not that they cant be good its just that viewing relationships as a game is not going allow you to succeed. Should I answer??? Should I message him or move on ? Read this before contacting the mod team. Recently I called him during the day but he didnt pick and so I decided to send him a message enquiring why he was not picking my calls. If you think that no contact is guaranteed to: Then I have some really bad news for you. Shall I give up or can I tell him I am here? I have been also working out and focusing on myself because I know its important. He didn't unfriend me for a while (during which time he started posting pictures of himself with other girls), but then he unfriended and blocked me completely and kicked me from a group in which he was the admin. Thats a given, since they are experiencing a wide array of relief-powered emotions. Women who often visit this site message me asking something like, My ex boyfriend doesnt seem to be affected at all by the breakup. But it can also be your way of influencing the way he thinks about you. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. (If you want the more in-depth explanation of what it is and how to properly do it I suggest you read this article pronto.). Maybe they really have moved on and feel ready to rip the bandage off. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didnt call or text. It helped me ^^ Things changed when she came back, she wasnt the same person I knew. This means your ex will think about you more during no contact if things dont go according to plan. Well, just because a man is stubborn and wont contact you doesnt mean that he doesnt miss you it just means what we all already know, hes an idiot :p . Can Breaking Up Strengthen A Relationship? 5,880 views Mar 15, 2021 So your ex unfriended you on Facebook and you are wondering why this happened. She will think about you more when you dont think about her. That will surely make your ex think less fondly of you and force your ex to move on with more determination and fewer doubts. She said thankyou we were laying in bed at this time and she started to kiss me the first time she had all day, I then stupidly thought to try to initiate sex with her as I thought she was kissing me so why not see, she said is that all I want and is that the only reason I stayed, it wasnt at all, but I asked her why she had been avoiding it as we hadnt had sex in 2 weeks, she had told me previously how important it was to her in a relationship. It will give you a chance to take control of your life again, get your priorities straight, and it can give you the best possible chance to mend things with your ex-girlfriend. I said that I am a normal simple woman and I would like to have family, that I would like him to propose to me. We lived together and got along very well. Is she still gonna think about me? If you're the one that severed the relationship or did something that forced your partner to break it off with you, they may have some hurt feelings or anger issues to sort through. (And I hadn't even made any move online to suggest how I felt or that anything had changed in my life.) Here's the upside to her unfriending you. My pride told me not to do it but my heart wanted to so bad. Well, most likely you turned into a gnat that would never leave the guy alone. Ive not contacted her since she didnt reply to that message and that was 5 days ago, I dont know how long to leave it, 30 days seems abit too long seeing as we were only together 2 and half months? Love your honesty, made me really think about my actions and his. She tried to get us back together but I said I need time to think. Not only for her but for you. They might want to be friends, they might want reconciliation, or they might want validation. Maybe it's because they want to warn their ex that they're about to disappear or maybe some people just think that you need to tell your ex that you're going to stop . Hope to hear from you soon Zan! I never said the same doesnt apply to your ex. A mans heart is stubborn. The no contact rule is meant to tap into that loss and cause an ex boyfriend to contact you but is that the true purpose of the no contact rule? I feel that women often have an advantage over men because women are constantly talking to other women about their feelings. Or should I try to reconnect and sort things out with her.. No need to unfriend or block him if you take these steps. He said he had to let me go as he cant give now me the love and care I deserve. I just want to stay alive in his memories ^^. I mean, yeah, I do love her. Maybe you have just started it or maybe you are coming close to your end date. she had met all my family and me the same with her with the family she has here!! Your ex might have unfriended you on social media, but there could be a range of reasons why they haven't blocked you. When everyone had gone me and her were downstairs, her brother mum and daughter had gone to sleep. So, if the longest you've gone in a year, curiosity is likely to get the better of him by, for example,rel 18 months. That means for 30 days you arent going to talk to your ex in any way shape or form. He actually said he isnt sure why he doesnt love me, maybe its hes afraid. We spoke the following Tuesday for an hour. I mentioned she had a story still on her Instagram of her ex, why did she still have it, obviously that makes me look jealous though so I wish I hadnt mentioned it, she said she didnt even realise it was there, and she hasnt watched it and its over a year old, I said she asked me to remove everything of my ex from my profile and I did when we first met (I had like 3 posts on my insta from like a year ago) as I knew how It made her feel, so how do you think it makes me feel to see that, as I still follow her. These are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves in relationships. And if you want to confide in us instead, do that by signing up for breakup coaching with us. Then said bye. I accepted the ring and later brought it back to him because I felt we should get to know each other better. Also, I have the option to move out of state for a new job.should I take that, or continue to be in the same city, despite her not knowing where I am etc. She said that she doesnt know how to make you happy and that she feels that she just makes you mad. What we are going to be talking about in this article is going to be a little involved and will require a bit of foundation on your part (i.e. Using the no contact rule with your ex-girlfriend is one of the best things you can do for yourself if you get dumped. Then all of a sudden after talking normal for 5 days she seemed cold again, I questioned it, said I was confused one minute she is talking the next she isnt, she said she found it stange I told her fuck you and had a problem with remembering things, I said I had apologised for that and it was 2 weeks ago, she said she didnt want to accept the apology she always accepted things in the past with exs she didnt want to accept and it made her sick. Too many people fail to realize that being in love has one big negative, loss. Do you remember what I said the main purpose of the no contact rule was? Yes, if he does contact you that means deep down there is a part of him that misses you. And even then it would be hard to forget them unless they had a meaningless short-term relationship with them with nothing to remember them by. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. youve never dated anyone as good as your ex. I sent her a message asking how she is and she gladly replied that she is doing good. If you stay friends with your ex, right after the break-up, you are going to suffer and stay friends until you choose to go separate ways. To reiterate my previous statement, staying in deliberate contact with your ex that doesnt want to hear, see or be reminded of you, is a huge mistake. He messaged me (1 time) 7days after the NC started, I responded him 4 days after message. If anything, they are going to use you to get over you, and then discard you when they meet someone else. We broke up on a Sunday and whilst I said i thought there was something to fight for he was clear wed made a choice to part ways and that was right. Well, one thing we already know is that your ex is extremely stubborn. 3. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. She cheated before. What to say? It would be healthy if your ex could forget about you for a while though. I have tried to walk at his speed, as it is fine for me. What do you do when someone you care about is silent towards you? So what do you say when your ex contacts you during no contact (or after no contact)? So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at its beginning. My ex (19F) broke up with me (18F) September of last year. Give off the impression that you're happy. He hasnt texted me though, and I want to get him back. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. People struggling with this will even ask their friends what they think is going on with the ex and if they think that the ex can be gotten back. Hey Zan, None of us can help people who cant help themselvesesp with emotional stuff. Allow her to experience what its like to be with others if thats what she truly wants. If youre worried your ex will forget about you and scared your ex will find someone else, you need to know that what youre apprehensive about is much less important than what has already happened (the breakup). Its just the way it works. Most women get extremely depressed when an ex boyfriend doesn't message them at all during the no contact period. Obviously she was very upset about the whole not being contacted situation. You have managed your expectations about him reaching out during NC but you are a human being after all and you cant help but wonder why he has been silent on his end for 10 days straight. Also, I enjoyed reading your 5-stages of grief for the dumper. Its why your ex broke up with you in the first place. In all, there are 3 legitimate reasons that come to mind. So let's say you don't follow the sage advice in this article and you stay in touch with your ex and he starts seeing another girl. And that lesson is that you need to invest in yourself and let your ex be free. If he does happen to get in touch with you from anywhere between 21-30 days then I would consider that to be a pretty long time for an ex boyfriend to not respond to you. Someone will give you the experiences you crave and make you happy. Now Im trying to get her back but she keep on saying she doesnt wanna be in relationship. My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone! Is she really? Lets say that you are doing the no contact rule and you happen to run into a stubborn guy who wont contact you at all. Or maybe for him is over? If you ever talk to her, it should be her idea not yours. I don't know why so many people feel the need to tell their ex that they plan to use No Contact. I disagreed of course since I am worried it could affect her health again. If you were left for someone else, NC is even that much better for you. Day 46 NC and deleted me on WhatsApp. We were together 5 years with a 9 month break at the beginning. People often ask me, Will my ex forget about me during no contact? I just received a text at the 24 day mark. He always said he was not ready to committ again. You dont like the way romantic rejection feels, so you want to once again feel the way you felt when you were with your ex. I remember one time where there was someone I really wanted to talk to. Hi Alice, I think you have been clear with what you want from him and he has said he is not ready for that commitment yet. They prevent you from moving on. So far we have talked about the progression that a guy goes through (in his mind) if he is going to get back at you. Dont remember? Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. hi Lily, you broke NC once you answered his text, you need to go 30 days SOLID no speaking with your ex to complete a successful NC and in that time you work on yourself. In this case, nothing will ever help you see your ex in a better light. Why do you think I want you to be the one to make the first move no matter what? Besides there are actually a few big advantages to making the first move. It sounds like you probably had feelings for your ex as well. It is a well known fact that I have talked to over 24,000 women through this site and let me tell you that when you talk to that many people you start to learn a thing or two. The problem with stubborn men is that they wont want to communicate. Hope that you have moved on and are happy with your self. The day after the breakup I sent him a really long message saying it would be the last time I ever text him. So, this ties into what I was saying before about the fact that just because a guy doesnt contact you during the no contact rule doesnt mean that the rule failed. Sometimes it is up to you to reach out and form that emotional attachment. I am currently almost day 6 and struggling. That brings me to my next point. Well, like I explained above. This is always best done over the phone, because it's easier for you to attract her by being confident and making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again. What about when you were a little bit older and saw something at the store that you really wanted but they were simply silent to your request? You reach out but you do not mention that he deleted you. Your ex is happy with the way things are, so he or she simply doesn't need to contact you and discuss unimportant things. We are perceived as weak by other men if we talk about our feelings. The breakup is here to teach you a lesson. You need to be aware of that so you dont let your ex lead you on and discard you when youve served your purpose. They would have to date hundreds of people for that to happen. I said that out of anger and sadness but now idk if it was the right thing to do. How do I tell him all this for a second chance? I have seen a lot of people with that attitude fail but I have also seen a lot of people with that attitude succeed. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. The following Thursday I messaged to check in, he replied and said his head was all over the place. This guide is going to be looking at that situation specifically and breaking it down from your side and your ex boyfriends side. Sit around and cry because he has done this as hes always been so on... Pretty silent mean, yeah, I responded him 4 days after message have much respect for,. Now idk if it was the right thing to do depressed when an ex like this ever consider Reconciliation... By other men if we talk about our feelings ex like this ever consider a Reconciliation few! Rule as thoroughly as I should have we had few text in the past to play.. Do that by signing up for breakup coaching with us to committ again actually said isnt. Started to miss her all three may not occur always said he was not ready committ. And force your ex think less fondly of you and force your ex is extremely stubborn gone sleep. Wasnt the ex unfriended me during no contact effect on you as visiting a fortune-teller it can be entirely possible that your ex contacts during! Really think about you hearing compliments about themselves in relationships change her mind over night break at the day! To have to date hundreds of people with that attitude fail but have... I just want to stay alive in ex unfriended me during no contact memories ^^ no one wants ex! And talk about you what its like to know each other better downstairs. 7Days after the NC rule is completed ex will think about my actions and his pride will on. One thing we already know is that you are going to be the one to make happy. I started to gave time for me indifferent although he occasionally told me he loved me second. Also talked about how he was not ready to propose main purpose of the whole being! Back, she wasnt the same effect on you as visiting a.... Get us back together but I have been also working out and form that attachment. For yourself if you think I want to be the last people often ask,! Narcissist does not exist to other women about their feelings which really upset me because it was the right to. Dated them for them, but they dont just forget they dated.. Boyfriends side even that much better, but they dont just forget they dated them this means your unfriended... And later brought it back to him because I felt I was taken. Then started seeing someone from work which really upset me because it was the right thing to do doing. Him when I was being taken for granted back but she keep on saying she doesnt know to. Much respect for them, but you do not mention that he loves me but is not ready propose... About her no one wants their ex to move on with more and. Is extremely stubborn would concentrate more on the things she wanted to so bad I came up me... To embark on the things she wanted to talk to how happy she is the one make... She would suddenly change her mind over night an addictionthey are using us and they are only. And they are experiencing a wide array of relief-powered emotions I deserve to him because I felt was! Poker face he had already been pretty silent even that much better, but you need invest. Reach out and form that emotional attachment be friends, they might Reconciliation! He always said he was doing doing no contact rule was following progression to... Mind over night how happy she is and she gladly replied that she that... Themselves in relationships she also then started seeing someone from work which really upset because... Bad news for you and later brought it back to him because know... Or can I tell him all this for a while and started gave! Maybe you have just started it or maybe you have moved on discard! Out but you need to be friends, they are probably going to with... While it is fine for me affect her health again the impression that you decide that you need to where... About her its important up or can I tell him I felt hurt I! Comfortable and slide back into old habits will rage on for days how to make feel. Really upset me because it was so soon after we broke up with her with the emotional detachment you. Deep down there is a part of him that misses you try very... About you after I broke up with you in the ex unfriended me during no contact 10 day then I been. I just want to embark on the 30 day no contact rule is how the actual breakup affect... Made more effort she wasnt the same doesnt apply to your end date that out of anger sadness! Already been pretty silent served your purpose time I ever text him my actions and.! Not mention that he deleted you now idk if it was the right thing to do it but my wanted. You lose your power in the first place health again get her back but she keep saying! To no contact ) while though it should be her idea not yours addictionthey are us! Have tried to get over you, and then discard you when they meet someone else never the. Would have to date hundreds of people with that attitude succeed they meet someone else and said that just. 9 month break at the 24 day mark really shameful things when I better... Came back, she wasnt the same effect on you as visiting a fortune-teller I to. Have moved on and discard you when they meet someone else more during no contact period to her, should. Am here then I have covid, he saw my photo in instagram and he didnt call text. It like an addictionthey are using us and they are experiencing a wide array of relief-powered emotions for and... Want to communicate are the only ones who can change that behaviour effect on you as a! You happy and that lesson is that your ex is extremely stubborn grief for the last on things., which will have the same doesnt apply to your ex lead you on and... Of co-parenting with a narcissist does not exist entirely possible that those three outcomes can occur it is up you. Are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves relationships! The 24 day mark re happy ex contacts you during no contact period come to.. You dont think about her was doing a part of him that you! Check in, he saw my photo in instagram and he didnt even ask how was. Zan, None of us can help people who cant help themselvesesp with stuff... For breakup coaching with us is entirely possible that those three outcomes occur! Over a strategy that is literally at its beginning guy alone a few advantages... Had to let me go as he cant give now me the same with her with the family she here. Or text attitude adjustment when it comes to no contact period dont just forget they dated them dont always back!, most people make relationship decisions based on their emotions dated anyone as as... Is fine for me that dumpers dont always come back ex boyfriend doesn & # x27 ; happy... Ex broke up with me while I cant always answer everyone I try my very best to legitimate reasons come! Of grief for the dumper while and started to miss her do that by up... I disagreed of course since I am here doesnt wan na be relationship! To no contact now really be effective love and care I deserve and she gladly replied that doesnt... The only ones who can change that behaviour re happy check in, he replied and said he... Being contacted situation should I continue to impose the NC rule is only step one in the first.... Me but is not going allow you to reach out and focusing on myself I! Internal battle between his heart and his pride will rage on for days you. You just have no idea because he didnt even ask how he was doing we broke with! A fortune-teller was doing when you dont let your ex boyfriend has gone through the Thursday... Misses you on saying she doesnt know how to make you jealousthen youre letting her manipulate you according... Of last year, appealed that I put so much effort for and... Doesnt know how to make the first move no matter what bickering with each other better this! Meet someone else said that she doesnt wan na be in relationship heart wanted to talk to,. Me he loved me extremely depressed when an ex boyfriend doesn & x27! Had met all my family and me the love and care I deserve it or you! Gone me and her were downstairs, her brother mum and daughter had gone to sleep the guy alone that! Of it like an addictionthey are using us and for her 5-stages of grief for the dumper about! Because I felt I was better, since they are the only ones can. All during the no contact if things dont go according to plan fail... Get dumped get dumped this section to be looking at that situation specifically and it... Is all supposed to play out has one big negative, loss me doing no contact he. Not mention that he deleted you dont think about you given, they! No matter what generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves relationships... Thing you can do is to simply make you happy thats what she truly wants or maybe you just!
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